64-year-old dad accidentally sends a voice message to his biodaughter confirming he'd financially prioritized their stepsister for 30 years

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  • My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life.
  • My parents divorced when I was 5, and I'm now 34/M. My dad cheated on my mom with the woman he's now married to. She already had a daughter, whom he later adopted.
  • My sister and I are his biological children. I'm 34, my biological sister is 36/F, and our stepsister is 38/F.
  • Growing up, the favoritism was obvious. My stepmom and stepsister openly mocked my mom, and we were treated differently in ways that were hard to articulate as kids but
  • impossible to ignore. My dad barely paid child support, and my mom had to take him to court multiple times just to get what she was owed.
  • My sister, who took the brunt of the Cinderella treatment, stopped talking to him nearly 15 years ago. I've kept the relationship alive, though I don't fully know why.
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  • My stepsister went to a fairly expensive private college, dropped out, had a Vegas wedding (both my sister and I were invited and attended), got divorced, remarried (both my sister and I were NOT
  • invited), and now lives in a beautiful home with her husband and two kids right down the road from my dad and stepmom. We've always assumed
  • my dad helped financially through all of it, but we've never had confirmation. Meanwhile, my sister and I paid for our own colleges, cars, and homes, with the help from our mom when she could.
  • Two years ago, my dad, probably dr k, texted me asking how he could be a better father (a little late pal). The message caught me completely off guard because he's never
  • acknowledged being anything less than amazing. I told him I was jealous of the relationship he has with our stepsister, and the conversation basically
  • fizzled out with zero follow-up. Recently, my fiancée and I closed on our first home and are in the middle of planning our wedding. He
  • hasn't offered to help with either, which is fine, I stopped expecting anything a long time ago. What he did offer was to buy us groceries when he came out to visit. We live
  • about 5.5 hours away now. I hate to sound ungrateful because, at its core, it's a nice gesture. But knowing how much he has likely
  • supported my stepsister. financially over the years, it felt a little hollow. Still, I appreciated it. Free food is free food.
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  • That was until this week. He accidentally sent me a voice text that was clearly meant for someone else. In it, he talked about looking into an 11-day Viking cruise around
  • Alaska with his wife, but then realizing it would be cheaper to take my stepsister, her husband, and their two kids to Thailand instead. The
  • message was mostly him bragging about how much money he'd save and how fun the trip with his grandkids would be.
  • I don't care about the money itself. I care about what it confirms. He's had resources this entire time and has quietly directed them toward the family he chose, while my sister
  • and I handled every major life milestone on our own. If he helped pay for her education, weddings, home, and family vacations while offering
  • us a grocery run during our engagement and first home purchase, I honestly don't think I have anything left to say to him.
  • My sister checked out 15 years ago and has always told me she's amazed I kept trying. I think I finally understand where she was coming from.
  • At this point, I don't even want an apology for myself, and I definitely don't want money, although it would be a great start. What I want is
  • for him to apologize to my sister and my mom for how they were treated. But I know that's never going to happen.
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  • The icing on the cake is that I still need to move the rest of my belongings out of my mom's house in another state. My dad offered to drive everything out in his truck
  • this weekend, which I genuinely appreciated. But he also mentioned he needs to get home early Sunday for a Father's Day brunch with his other family. A retired man I see.
  • maybe twice a year can only spare a day and a half because he has to get back for brunch. But hey, at least he offered to stock our fridge. /s
  • I'm honestly at a loss for what to say to him. I'm hurt, but buying a house has been exhausting, and I'm completely burned out mentally. Part of me wants to ask directly whether he has financially
  • supported my stepsister all these years. Another part of me feels like I already know the answer and should stop hoping he'll suddenly become a different person.
  • So what would you do? Confront it directly, or just let the relationship quietly fade? I'm in my 30s now, and I don't think I have another chance left in me to give him.
  • Unfortunately, I also have plans with him this weekend, so I feel like it needs to be addressed or ignored.
  • TL;DR: My dad cheated on my mom, divorced her, and has spent the last 30 years quietly prioritizing his stepdaughter over his two biological children.
  • An accidental voice text this week confirmed that he has the resources to fund international family vacations while offering us a grocery run during our engagement and first
  • home purchase. I'm not sure whether to confront him about it or finally let the relationship go.

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